I’ve gotten some "unusual" emails, but this one beats ’em all

Ever since the shootings at Virginia Tech last year, most colleges and universities now have pretty sophisticated emergency alert systems that text you or email you of everything from robberies to tornadoes. But this one, this is … odd:


July 31, 2008

There have been several reliable sightings of an animal fitting the description of a cougar on the campus. The description of the sighted cat is: light tan and tawny brown, about 4 feet long with a 4 foot tail, and weighing about 50 pounds. Several sightings have been reported from the area of Cole Field House, near the Clarice Smith Performing Arts Center, and continuing through the wooded areas to the area of the Comcast Center and Arena Drive Garage. There has been no report of aggressive behavior on the part of the animal, but community members are warned that cougars are a predatory species and that, if seen, the animal should not be approached.

I work in metropolitan Maryland. You know, the place the pundits enjoy describing as inside the beltway. In case you’re wondering — no, I shall not be approaching the animal ….



  1. A number of years ago I read a tongue-in-cheek piece in a radical environmentalist newsletter (and I’m totally blanking on the name of it) on a plan to re-introduce large carnivores to the D.C. area to help thin out Republicans. At the time I viewed it as a dryly humorous parody of a wildlife management plan. Who knows? Maybe someone took it seriously.

  2. sue j- That wasn’t Cindy McCain, it was me. I’m always slinking about college campuses looking for buff young men. Hell, I’ll even go for a middle aged professor, I’m not that picky.

  3. You got the email because of the previous post about Exxon’s ridiculous profits. Remember? They used to be the “put a tiger in your tank” folks. So they put a tiger on your campus. They are after you!
    kidding – just kidding.

  4. Mary Ellen = Cougar. Well, you go girl!

    Cootamundra w., I guess it’s a good thing I got out of there this afternoon, then! The wrath of corporate felines!

  5. maybe someone should capture the big cat and relocate it to the white house grounds! oh shoot, that won’t work, bush is terrorizing maine this weekend.

  6. So, was it McCain as Cougar, was it Bush’s Exxon Mobil buddies? I guess I’ll never know, but dear readers, this morning I found THIS in my mailbox:


    Your blog at: http://madwoman-ramblings.blogspot.com/ has been identified as a potential spam blog.

    Your blog will be deleted within 20 days if it isn’t reviewed, and you’ll be unable to publish posts during this time. After we receive your request, we’ll review your blog and unlock it within two business days. If this blog doesn’t belong to you, you don’t have to do anything, and any other blogs you may have won’t be affected.

    Until I am “unlocked,” I cannot post, but I guess I’m still allowed to comment. In the meantime, I’ll be researching WordPress. I shall not be silenced! Jello Rules!

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